this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
