so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
