haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
