He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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