My brain says no but my pants say off.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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