Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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