my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize
