i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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