Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
