So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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