awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
