So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
