She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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