OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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