The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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