I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
You smell like stripper and shame
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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