i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
