This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
