You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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