My friends, they love my intelligence
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
