Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
