Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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