just tell him i said nine months
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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