No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Yo dont text me then not text me
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
