Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
