I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
