we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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