I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
