Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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