yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
