she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
