I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
