so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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