i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
