dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
