You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
