Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
