im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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