Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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