Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
