Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
