My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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