we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
