Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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