I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
