She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
