Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
