He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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