I faked an abortion last night.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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