xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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