Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
