Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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